Never Again

Don't you hate it when you're trying really hard 

to forget about someone but they keep crawling 

back into your life?

I'm starting to think that there are more assholes than normal guys in this planet but the funny thing is, they always end up crossing my peaceful path, I don't know if it's pure accident or fate but seriously,WTH?  

   I can’t say the words that I wanted and needed to say in front of his face so I’ll just write this blog post. I have to let it out. I don’t care if he reads this or not, but either way I know he won’t be bothered.

There are people who come into your life just to strengthen you, so you can move on without them. They are supposed to be part of your memory, not your destiny.

Quit playing games dear. I’m okay now.  Please do not take my happiness again.  Please not again.

Do you ever think of me, when you lie? Lie down in your bed, your bed of lies.

Everything has changed.

The Heart Wants What It Wants

You got me sippin' on something
I can't compare to nothing
I've ever known, I'm hoping
That after this fever I'll survive
I know I'm acting a bit crazy
Strung out, a little bit hazy
Hand over heart, I'm praying
That I'm gonna make it out alive
The bed's getting cold and you're not here
The future that we hold is so unclear
But I'm not alive until you call
And I'll bet the odds against it all
Save your advice 'cause I won't hear
You might be right but I don't care
There's a million reasons why I should give you up
But the heart wants what it wants
The heart wants what it wants

You got me scattered in pieces
Shining like stars and screaming
Lighting me up like Venus
But then you disappear and make me wait
And every second's like torture
Heroin drip, no more so
Finding a way to let go
Baby, baby, no I can't escape
This is a modern fairytale
No happy endings
No wind in our sails
But I can't imagine a life without
Breathless moments
Breaking me down, down, down, down

The heart wants what it wants, baby
It wants what it wants, baby
It wants what it wants 

I can't stop drinking about you ....

-dgt

The Only Exception

 “There are winds of destiny that blow when we least expect them. Sometimes they gust with the fury of a hurricane; sometimes they barely fan one’s cheek. But the winds cannot be denied, bringing as they often do a future that is impossible to ignore.” 

― Nicholas Sparks, Message in a Bottle

“There’s always that one person that will always have your heart”. We all have that “Ideal Guy” in our tiny little heads, but life, as we know it, is full of absurdity, we always fall for someone who doesn’t suit our standards, we definitely don’t settle for less or anything like that, it’s only because our hearts do the talking and the heart’s language is something we cannot understand.

“I told you. You don't love someone because of their looks or their clothes or their car. You love them because they sing a song only your heart can understand.” 

― L.J. Smith

Stay with Me

Guess it's true, I'm not good at a one-night stand

But I still need love 'cause I'm just a man

These nights never seem to go to plan

I don't want you to leave, will you hold my hand?

Oh, won't you stay with me?

'Cause you're all I need

this ain't love it's clear to see

But darling, stay with me

Why am I so emotional?

No it's not a good look, gain some self-control

and deep down I know this never works

but you can lay with me so it doesn't hurt

Oh, won't you stay with me?

'Cause you're all I need

this ain't love it's clear to see

But darling, stay with me ...

"Maybe I don't cry but it hurts && maybe I don't show but I care" -dgt

The Art of Wooing

I spent my holiday with my family. Last All Saint’s day, we visited daddy in the cemetery, and after that we had some mini get together to celebrate my cousin’s birthday. It was tiring yet fun, but I guess it’s always fun when you are surrounded by the people you love and value the most.

The highlight of the mini get together that I’m talking about is “the new guy”. Actually I don’t know what to label him because my cousin keeps on insinuating that “the new guy” is not yet her boyfriend but it’s kinda obvious that they are getting there if they weren’t there already. I mean duh, she introduced the poor guy to the whole family and I salute him for surviving a day with my relatives, let’s just say that we’re bunch of crazy people coated with another layer of craziness. HAHA. Well, on her defense, it’s the proper way, introduce the guy the moment he started courting you and not when he’s already your boyfriend, but where not a typical family for crying out loud, we’re used to meeting who’s someone’s dating when they were already an item, take note, when they are at least a year together, yah that’s the norm in our family, so this whole meet-this-guy-who-is-courting-me façade is foreign to us.

Strong Enough

God, I feel like hell tonight

Tears of rage I cannot fight

I'd be the last to help you understand

Are you strong enough to be my man, my man?

Nothing's true and nothing's right

So let me be alone tonight

Cause you can't change the way I am

Are you strong enough to be my man?

Lie to me

I promise I'll believe

Lie to me

But please don't leave, don't leave

I have a face I cannot show

I make the rules up as I go

Just try and love me if you can

Are you strong enough to be my man, my man?

Are you strong enough to be my man?

Are you strong enough to be my man?

Are you strong? My man.

When I've shown you that I just don't care

When I'm throwing punches in the air

When I'm broken down and I can't stand

Would you be man enough to be my man?

Lie to me

I promise I'll believe

Lie to me

But please don't leave

I’m far from being gorgeous but I am my own kind of BEAUTIFUL ...

No one's gonna love you like I do ..

One Last Glance

“My heart might be bruised, but it will recover and become capable of seeing beauty of life once more. It has happened before; it will happen again, I'm sure. When someone leaves, it's because someone else is about to arrive--I'll find love again.” 

― Paulo Coelho, The Zahir

He broke me but I’m thankful for that. No sarcasm, bitterness or whatsoever. I stooped and pick up my broken pieces, all on my own, without needing any help from anyone. I am stronger than I used to be. I chose to be stronger and that’s because of him.

"try to wrap your little brain around my feelings"

Dead End

“How do I run from what’s inside my head”

Last night was indeed not one of my best nights. I couldn’t sleep. I’m in my room, lying on the bed but my mind is somewhere else. My mind is thinking about him. I know what he is, I know how he works, he’s a “hit ‘em and leave ‘em” type of guy, what I don’t know is what’s between us, on a second thought, I was reminded by myself, yes by myself that there’s actually nothing between us, but still I am always at lost for words when it’s about him and I’m talking nonsense right now because I don’t know what else to say.

"Never thought that it would be so hard" -dgt

Unforeseen Circumstances

My friend called me the other night, yah “friend” would probably be the best word to describe him and the safest actually HAHA. He was just looking for someone to talk to and it’s glad to know that I’m included on his list of “someone to talk to”.

" You are my sanctuary, that's what you are to me" -dgt

Finding Happiness

“Happiness is the consequence of personal effort. You fight for it, strive for it, insist upon it, and sometimes even travel around the world looking for it. You have to participate relentlessly in the manifestations of your own blessings. And once you have achieved a state of happiness, you must never become lax about maintaining it. You must make a mighty effort to keep swimming upward into that happiness forever, to stay afloat on top of it.” 

                                                                                  - Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love

You know that feeling, when you know you are doing the right thing but instead of feeling good about yourself you feel that you’re only fooling yourself. It’s kind of similar to what I’m feeling right now.

'' One day you will realize that you've lost the moon while counting the stars''  -dgt                                                                                                                                               

Hollow

"Mad – empty – crazy – lost – dying... I was all of these things and nothing as well, because even though I breathed and moved, I was not alive.” 

                                                                                                                    - Melanie Cusick-Jones

These past few days I feel like I’m not in my right mind. There are so many things running in my head, so many things I’d like to do, and I don’t know if those things are even necessary in the first place. There’s a nagging voice inside my head that I don’t recognize, that voice keeps telling me what I need to do; what I have to say but all I know is, that voice does not belong to me.

"When you try to be nice, people expect you to be nicer" -dgt

                                                                                                                                      

"Knowing what you want and having what you want are two different things." - dgt

                                                                                                                                       

Perfectly Imperfect

“But life isn't something that should be edited. Life shouldn't be cut. The only way you'll ever discover what it truly means to be alive and human is by sharing the full experience of what it means to be human and each blemish and freckle that comes with it.” 

                                                                                                -  Iain Thomas

When I was younger I wanted to be the perfect girl everybody loves, I guess we all reached that “I want to be like … blah blah blah” stage, the stage when we were like attention-seekers, we want to be noticed, we want to be popular, we beg for the approval of every person within our circle, or maybe it’s just me, but I definitely have outgrown that stage. 

"It is dreadful to know that being yourself is not good enough." -dgt

                                                                                                                          

"You were my guilty indulgence" -dgt

                                                                                                                

Missing You

"If only you knew how much I think about you."

You're forcing yourself to blot out someone from your memory but the process itself triggered some emotions; emotions that you don’t want to feel, the feeling of longing, needing, yearning … MISSING.

There were times you thought you’re better than fine, cause everything seems to be normal, you were doing good. You thought you’ll never be happy again without your source of happiness but luckily you’ve successfully helped yourself, and  finally, you were able to see things in a better perspective, then one tiny stupid memory will bring back every single feeling you’ve buried in the deepest possible place no one can touch.

"I'm admonishing myself for missing you" - dgt

                                                                                                           

The Bad Boy

"There's just something about vampires that's sexy. It's the same reason why women go for the bad boy - you want them but you shouldn't have them."
                                                                                                              

                                                                                                                       - Nina Dobrev

Heart Breaker. Jerk. Assh*le. Man Whore. Douche Bag. Play Boy. BAD BOY.

Most women go gaga for this type, including me. Well, it’s like eating an ice cream when your throat hurts so bad, you know it’s not good for you and would only make your condition worse but still you want to eat that ice cream because that’s what your heart yearn for, 
yeah a very childish comparison, but bad boys really have this effect on girls. They wouldn’t mind getting hurt or getting used and even the idea of becoming an addition to the notches in the belt of these guys would be pleasing, for what logical reason? It’s for the chance to be with them, for a chance to turn these Casanovas into a love sick puppy dog, because the idea itself is enough to put women in a state of bliss. 

Be Cautious

"You can either trust people until they fail you, or distrust people until they're proven trustworthy"

                                                                                                    - unknown 

“Trust a few”, it has become my mantra for the past 20 something years of my life. Some people will intentionally try to gain your trust for whatever purpose and that’s exactly the reason why we should conscientiously choose who we trust. We are not sure whether their intentions are good or bad. I’ve learned that the hard way, I have a terrible. track record when it comes to trusting the right ones but I’m thankful for those awful experiences, I've gained a lot of things from that. 

"Salads are for rabbits , I eat real food"

-dgt

                                                                                                                                 
                                                 

Insanity

"Well, love is insanity. The Ancient Greeks knew that. It is the taking over of a rational and lucid mind by delusion and self-destruction. You lose yourself, you can't even think straight"

                                                                                                          - Marilyn French

I’ve never been so baffled by how I think and feel, it happens so rare, so rare it got me dumbfounded. I always got a heads up, I kept telling myself that I’m good at this, but the tables turned, I should be the one playing this game but it ends up I’m the one being played.

" I'm breaking my own rules" -dgt

                                                                                                                                                                                          

Fools

We know it’s over when the relationship lost its so called “spark” and the people within the relationship are constantly depressed , constantly arguing or bickering , unconsciously hurting each other and so on , but despite of the signs most of us continue this “unhealthy’’ type of relationship , for some insoluble reason … we just can’t pull the plug. Are we fools?

"Being with you is a colossal mistake but believe me its worth making , maybe I am temporary insane but I enjoyed every single bit of my insanity." -dgt                                                                                                                                                   

                                                                                                                                             

"You're my drug , that I just can't quit" 

-dgt

                                                                                               

Reminiscin'

" You never really stop loving someone , You just learn to try to live without them."                                                                                                                                                                                                                           - Anonymous 

                 When I was on my way to work , out of nowhere … someone just came into my mind , and that someone’s my ex … yes my ex ! hmmm I don’t know maybe I’m just in a state of depression lol

For once , let's be stupid .. -dgt

                                    
                                                  

When you let your guard down

You've managed to surround yourself with walls that’d protect you from getting hurt , you keep people at arm’s length … you keep them at bay …


But then for some absurd reason , one person will come into your perfectly contrived life and will ruin everything … in just a snap of a finger ,

Carpe Diem

“Seize the day” ….

We shouldn’t trust tomorrow coz everythin’ is uncertain …

Life is wild …. really wild , the uncertainty of things' what makes life wild …